Thursday 2 August 2012

What Would You Do?

When we get back home, our loan should be ready for signing, twenty thousand. Money that should cover half or a little less of the whole adoption of Leah. However, as you know at the moment we cannot do anything to adopt her as she is in a region no agency covers. The agency we inquired with is willing to register in her region so that we could try to get Leah's file. Even if they were registered it still does not mean that they could request her file because PKU is not considered a special need. She does have mild mental delay and estigmatism which we could possibly go on but there is no guarantee that we could even ask for her file. Basically what we would need to do is lay down the twenty thousand for the agency to register in her region and then see if they could request her file.  This is twenty thousand before any other money for the actual adoption. 

What would you do?

Would you lay down this money before you knew what lay ahead, if anything at all?

If this is telling me I'm not suppose to adopt Leah then how will I forget her?  Can I forget her?

I know she is there and if she is not adopted she will go to the institution only because of mild mental delay.  She is a beautiful, beautiful and vibrant little girl who I am sure could achieve so much in a good family of her own. If I cannot do anything for her then next year she will be transferred. 

What am I suppose to do? What would you do?

5 comments:

  1. Hi! I'm not sure if I've ever commented before but wanted to make sure I did! I'm Canadian and my family adopted a 9 year old from Bulgaria last year. I've been reading your blog for a while and love watching your story unfold. Where in Canada are you? We live in Alberta. Sorry, no advice about Leah. That's a hard situation! Can't wait to see where God will lead you.

    Joanna
    Asking with Faith.

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  2. Hi, Joanna, I'm glad you wrote. I'm in Toronto and the government rules about adoption here are strict. First, if I was able to do an Indepenant Adoption then maybe I could hire a lawyer in her region and do something that way but we're not allowed. I must go through a government approved agency and not anywhere in Canada or US but only here in Ontario. That does not leave me a lot of choice. I know there are children who need parents in other regions and other countries including ours but I wanted to help where help was most needed and where children face a bleak future. Leah is not disabled but because special attention will need to be paid to her diet and a slight mental delay she will be put into a special school (institution) with other chldren some of whome are severly disabled. I know all those children need help but some children like Leah who are able to learn will learn nothing from there on. I know domestic adoption through social services cost nothing but as I read about domestic orphan situation there are many more programs and help for these children than abroad. OK so I already have all that against me. I also have three grown children which is good, I could give Leah lots of attention but my grown children are still at home. I also now have 15 month old grandson and his daddy in the house and not all parties are agreeable to adding another child to this home. On one hand I can understand their feelings, I mean realistically spending this money on adoption could be spent on them but I feel I already give them plenty, financially and emotionally and there is room for one child who is not as lucky as they are. My feelings about this are very firm, so firm that somehow we've actually gone through certain steps towards adoption. My husband also does not feel we need to nurtue a younger child at this stage of our lives but he knows about Leah, he's seen her pictures, he knows I get updates from her orphanage and he ask about her. He helps me mail things to her. He even said that would only go through with the adoption if we knew that we were adopting Leah but not just any child which is the normal route to adoption in EE for non special needs children; referral would be for any child and we'd have to make a decision to meed this child very quickly with knowing very little about her. So, while on vacation I spoke little of adoption but I did pick up things here and there for Leah and mailed her a packet from here and my husband knew about it and knows I've not forgotten her and now that I've started this contact with her what will happen if I just stop one day? How will that be for her? Now, she knows a little bit that she is special to someone. I don't want it to stop but when she goes to the institution it probably will. Maybe I was wrong to even start this but something or someone led me to her now it's just a matter of the execution.

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  3. Joanna, may I ask how is the 9 year old adjusting to their new life in Canada? Leah will be 8 in October and probably would be 9 by the time we could get her. Thanks in advance.

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  4. She has adjusted beautifully. She was 9 and a half when we picked her up in December. She turned 10 this June. We had a ton of grief and anger issues in the first month (she really missed her friends and wanted to go back to Bulgaria) but since then she has settled in. We are still dealing with stuff but nothing major. Just things that children don't learn in the environment she was in (using a kind tone of voice, being polite, working hard in school work, chores etc). Her English is pretty good already and except for the odd situation we have no trouble communicating. Older child adoption rocks!

    I'm sorry your in such a tough position with Leah and the whole adoption. That truly is hard. My thoughts are with you!

    And if you would like, I do have a blog if you want to check it out: http://askingwithfaith.blogspot.ca/

    Canadians are hard to find in the internet world, especially when it comes to adoption.

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  5. I know, there are hardly any Canadian adoption blogs. I'd be intersted to hear their experiences with our rules and procedures but I can't find any. Thanks for the link to your blog, I've been checking it out and am glad to know that the child has adjusted and there were no major complications. And thanks for keeping up with my blog, I wasn't sure if anyone was reading it or not :)

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