The Knowing

Had another home study session.  Talked so much about our childhood, best moments, worst moments etc.  A lot of memories and emotions brought out and dealt with.   We did miss one session because the social worker got sick.  Next one is next Monday.  So still a session, not a home  inspection.  It just seems to be dragging on very long nevertheless has to be done with.  The RH hubby is always quiet at first but then does get into it and talks a lot and even says some favorable things.  I'm so proud of him for that.  I have been looking at the China adoption program but there isn't a lot of time for that, basically a year and a half before the hubby is too old.  There are so many children there too who need a family and not just girls, many, many boys too.  Their special needs seem to be different than that of Russia or Ukraine but there are so many sweet faces there and smiles that tug at your heart .  The social worker also told me that Lithuania is making more files available for special needs adoption so their program is opening up more and more and it is a country we should look into.  To think that almost two years ago I had no idea there were so many orphaned children, that while some were ok many were suffering, I didn't know their names, I didn't know their faces and frankly I didn't care,  I had my own family to worry about.  That was then and this is now, after I saw their faces, learned of their names, birthdays, their plight.  Now I know and nothing will be the same ever again.

How Many Will it Take

Home study appointments that is; how many will it take to complete with a reluctant husband?  Well, at least three more.  There are many issues to work through, for the hubby to realize just why he is so hesitant, what is scaring him so much.  All he sees is gloom and doom and a lot of work ahead that he is not prepared to handle ... anymore.  He's done with it.  Been there, done that.  First, tonight at the home study we got lots more paperwork to fill out and sign etc.   I already had a medical report filled out that I got from the agency that covers Russia but the home study program has its own report, different from that of the agency.  So, we have to go again. 

It just so happens I called the Doctor's office to schedule our physicals but I was told physicals are on hold indefinitely due to the Ontario Ministry is considering cutting physicals.  It appears they are not necessary anymore, healthy people don't need physicals; it is just a waste of money.  What they propose instead is doing separate appointments for each test you normally get at a physical.  Wait a minute.  I like my physicals.  I may not go religiously exactly once a year but I get it done.  When I know that nothing is wrong it makes me feel better.  This is in the works right now.  Instead of one appointment I might need five.  Isn't that a waste of money, my money?  I wonder who came up with that idea.  We'll see what happens.

Back to the home study, we got into some heavy topics tonight but almost two hours later we made it through it.  The hubby was all serious at first then he started talking, getting into it.  I held my breath at first then was glad he relaxed and most of all he surprised me at the very end.  The social worker said, well, you've been through some trials with your three children so you know that kids are not perfect.  Some people go into adoption thinking it will all be perfect.  Hubby said, oh no, he's well aware whether it's our own kid or adopted kid there will be problems but we will give the child all the help the child needs, we just need to be patient and work through the problems together.  He has never yet referred to doing anything for the child; only what he would not do; you know he didn't want to do this again or that again.  So, this was ground breaking.  Amen to that.

Forward Bound

It's like spring out there.  It's wet and rainy and warm out there.  Tomorrow it's going up to 13 degrees C.  It's January, middle of almost, so how can this be? Not that I'm complaining, just saying but I know the worst is yet to come.  We're not out of the woods here.

Our home session next week is still on schedule. Here it costs three thousand and the training course is seperate and costs fifteen hundred.  We still have more payments to put in but hopefully we'll make it to the end.  I've checked into an agency for China adoptions and they seem reasonable but it will still be an uphill battle.  The worst part is that we cannot be working towards a particular child but any child.  Of course it's not useless but it does keep your mind more focused.  Right now my mind is all over the place.  Will we ever complete the home study?  Will our dossier be accepted? Will we even come to the point of receiving a referral?  Most importantly of course, will my husband ever say yes?  Will God speak to his heart the way he has to mine?  What is the point of only speaking to one?

That's a lot of unanswered questions I wish I knew answers to.  We are coming to a close of getting all the police records and fingerprints done.  Then there are physicals.  First let's get past the next home study session and then hopefully go forward.

Here are a few photos from the end of 2012.

We Made It

We have made it to 2013 !   ---   According to the Chinese Zodiac, the Year of 2013 is the Year of the Snake, which begins on February 10, 2013 and ends on January 30, 2014.  The Snake is the sixth sign of the Chinese Zodiac, which consists of 12 Animal Signs.  It is the enigmatic,  intuitive, introspective, refined and collected of the Animals Signs.  Ancient Chinese wisdom says a Snake in the house is a good omen because it means that your family will not starve. 

That is rather important if one is planning on adding a child to the family, we don't want anyone starving.  Let's hope that doesn't happen here.  Right now everything is bountiful but we still must be careful to make sure it stays that way.

So, Happy New Year everyone and good luck.