Point of no Return

I am hoping that the home study will soon come to an end.  The social worker still has to speak to our son who has also been reluctant but at last he has agreed to give of his time and be interviewed.  That's the thing with older kids, they've got minds of their own.  When kids are younger they're led more or less by their parents. The way they see it is another sibling to play with but when they're older they're not so keen on suddenly having a little one around the house again.  Their things and their privacy may be invaded and they don't want that.  So, they don't want to think about that child who is alone and in many cases malnourished, scared and sometimes in pain but if we don't then who will.  Other people, someone else, not me.  That's wrong.  It should be anyone and everyone, including us.  We are the other people.  We are them. 

So at last we may be at the end of the home study.  Maybe one more meeting for my hubby and I and I'm hoping that's it but we still have a long road before we can have a proposal.  So, again we are doing all this work without ever knowing who our child is and that's hard because that little light or that little face, that child is not there.  

Can't help but wonder even if we do complete the home study what does the future have in store for us?  Will we ever get past that point?  Will we ever get to that travel date?

I wish I could say yes but really I just don't know.

One Foot in Front of the Other

We're actually having the home inspection.  I never thought it would come to that.  It just seemed like the home study would never end; we would forever be under the microscope, talking about ourselves and exposing some of our most inner thoughts.  It got pretty personal at times and emotional going through some of the tougher times.  As far as the house goes I think it's pretty much in order except for the two extra rooms; they need renovation.  The one room where our daughter is has been redone but two more rooms need a make over and so does ours but it will be the last on the list.  The den which our niece used as a bedroom was recently painted a nice bright yellow but a little too bright and I might still want to change it.  My books will probably come back into it and some of our grandson's toys though one of the two, extra rooms will still be his room.  So, still lots of work ahead but for now, for the inspection they have been cleaned up the best they can be and it will do.  She will get the idea that there is room here for the child.  I wish we were further ahead and that our dossier was already in China so that we may be able to look at some children's files but as it is we'll have to keep plugging along, one foot in front of the other to get through the home study of all home studies.  I'm hoping that once this is done the rest will be a breeze.