Thursday, 18 February 2016

Her Life Before Us

Maya's life before us is very complex. She comes to us with many insecurities most of which show up in her day to day dealings with events and with us. There are many triggers to her insecurities, too many to mention but slowly, very slowly she is dealing with them as we are. Most of the time her life before us stays well hidden deep inside her, there are good times and bad times and because there were some good times it makes it all the harder for her to deal with her current life with us.

In some ways I think she wishes she still had the life before us. I will not give out her whole life story but we see signs in Maya that she is working very hard to accept the life she has now. It's not always easy, not by a long shot. It will take many more years before her insecurities disappear. She tries to seem very confident but inside she is not so it's a constant battle of what she thinks she can do and what she can't do. In some ways she wants to have full control over her life and us and in other ways she seeks constant help even with things she can well do for herself.

I wish there some photos of her as a baby and growing up but there is nothing. Any photos only start in Feb 2013 when she came back to the orphanage. She was fostered ever since she was a baby. How I wish we had those to connect her life before us to her life now. Her life before us matters. Even though we try to move on with our life now, doing things we need to do like go to school, go to work, go shopping etc each and every moment that other life is still inside her head and her heart. It's going to take time and patience, a LOT of patience for this transition to happen from her life before us to her life with us.

Here are some photos of Maya at the Shangrao orphange a few years ago.

with one of her foster sisters

in a dress we sent for her

Maya is good with little kids and they seem to gravitate toward her
she has a couple of young nephews she adores but says she'd love to her own
little brother or sister

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