Adoption: A Journey of Faith

People who have adopted or are on their way to adopting all talk about how they were Called to do this selfless thing.  Most, not all but most will say it was a calling put before them by Jesus or God and they have no choice but to follow this path no matter how difficult it may be.  The good Lord will provide for them to do so or equip those not equipped.  I must say that I have fallen out of my faith.  Somehow somewhere I have lost the belief that the Lord will always provide courage and strength for me when things get tough.  I wouldn't say I had it really tough in life, comparing to some but I had a trying time or two when I felt left out in the cold by God.  So, when the situation of orphans of the world was put before me, a friend of mine said it is God speaking to me.  Or is it a matter of I am I listening again.  Certainly, the faces of orphans were made real to me by RR, before that it was just a word, I knew they were there and they always will be there but now suddenly I am giving it a second thought.  I am learning more about the situation and am appalled at just how big the situation is and how awful in some places.  I am moved to do something, thinking what if each one of us opens our home and our hearts to just one of these children could we possibly do away with this situation, could there be a bright future for all of these children after the four walls of the orphanage?

More and more I'm thinking this is not just a physical journey of collecting papers and travelling to EE, it's so much more of an emotional journey and a journey of Faith.  Could this be done? What even makes me think that I could do this or that I would be good enough to deserve the blessing of another child when I already have children who are grown?  Is God really calling me to do this?  Am I returning to my faith, to the belief that I can do anything with the Lord by my side?

Which brings me to, what happens when only one is called?  As you know my husband is very much a work in progress.  He does not feel called and he sees no path back to his faith.  He has gone along with me for some part of this journey and we are registered for the adoption training program.  He says he will keep an open mind but I'm thinking this is more so that I can see the reasons why we cannot do this.  He feels there are many other more productive ways to help. So, why would God do this to us?  Why would he call one but not the other?  Is it to divide us for some reason or is it to test us in some way?  We've had a good marriage.  There's been no drinking, no drugs, no abuse and no cheating (as far as I know, lol) so why the test?  Is it a test of our marriage or our  faith or both?

I wish there was a clear cut answer to my questions but so far there are not.  The only thing I know is that I am determined to help one little child who has not been as lucky as my children have; one child who longs for love and the security of a home. More and more I'm thinking that adoption in many ways is really a journey of faith; of belief that with God by my side I can do anything and that my husband will see the goodness in adoption and even the child who waits and waits and waits must have faith that one day love will come.

 

 

Amazing

As I’ve been looking through the agencies here through the last year, none of them showed on their websites or in their annual reports as they call them, to be covering Lilly’s region but one of them apparently used to.  I contacted that agency and asked if they still do and the answer was ... yes.  Yes, they do still work in that region.  Wow.  So, the door here is open, I woulnd't say wide open but it's open a crack.  Now, it’s a matter of getting the right file.  Can they get "her" file?  All I can do at this point is ask if they will request her file to see if it's available but I can go no further, yet. What I don't understand is why she has waited this long but certainly she's holding onto something, someone.

Those Who Wait

I got word from the agency completing their accreditation in Russia that they are not looking into getting L's file because they didn't want to get ahead of themselves.  It would've been nice to tell me so I didn't wait for nothing.  Still once they have their approval from MOE they will then decide which regions they will cover and one region could be Kirov.  I can see that if anything happens with L it will take a long time. 

Lately I've been checking again on another L, Lilly.  She too may be in a region no one covers.  She too may be unreachable.  Is that why she's still waiting?  How can that be that a swett little girl with big blue eyes and a little soul that's begging for love is still at the orphanage?  Is she in the laying down room I wonder?  Does her caregiver pick her up and hold and tell he it will be okay?  Of course it's not okay that Lilly still waits for a family and surgery which her heart may still need.  Like Lyla she is a miracle too just to be alive.  She wasn't suppose to make it but she did.  She pulled through obviously for a reason.  She may be the last piece of a puzzle in a family who doesn't know yet she belongs with them.  I wish I could see her smile.  There are three pictures of her but none smiling.  She needs to and deserves to smile and laugh like any other five year old.  A little soul lost in the back room.  I hope Lilly's family finds her soon.  Her time has come.

And I'm not the only one praying for Lilly.  Sarah and Rachel are still praying for her;

Handiwork for Lilly      Handiwork on Facebook     To Save Lilly and Vanessa

I inquired about her last year and I inquired about her today.  I sent her photo to my hubby last year and again today.  Not sure if it's leading anywhere yet but we shall see where the Lord takes us.  By the way we're not done the home study yet but our social worker is having her annual Adoption Training Seminar so we're going to take in October.  Eventually it has to be taken anyway so might as well take it while we can with the same social work whom we like very much.

Wishing good thoughts for Lilly.

Coming Home

I'm so happy that little Lyla is coming home.  Her mommy is there right now ready to pick her up and take her out of the orphange forever.  In fact with the time difference she may be knocking on the orphange door right now waiting for her little girl to become a part of her family.  Lyla has come a long way.  As most of you know she was very sick and almost didn't make it but God was watching over her and she survived.  She made it because she was meant to be a part of a family.  They have been waiting for her.  I prayed for Lyla on my blog many times and at one point even considered adopting her myself but I was told that our government does not look lightly upon adopting a very sick child.  They will try to talk you out of it.  Not sure exactly what that meant.  Did they mean that she wasn't worth it?  Really?  Well, look at her now.  She's smiling and kissing her mommy.  I know she may have surgeries still in front of her but she has made it for a reason, a reason that makes her worth it.

On the other hand my little L is still waiting to come home.  Will she ever?  Only time will tell.  I've not heard back from the agency yet and I'm afraid to ask.  I'm afraid to find out that she is un-reachable.  Even worse I feel sick even thinking about her next birthday being spent in the "special school"; the internat; the institution or whatever else they may call it but it is a place where she will become just another lost little soul.  For this year at least, on her birthday in October she will be the little Princess she deserves to be.