Step by Step

The agency asked me for a few more documents. Can there be something we've not submitted yet? There always sees to be another document and another and another. I think we're getting down to the bottom end of the Dossier, at least I hope so. Still, waiting on the provincial approval. So far they've not asked for anything additional so I hope they see fit to get it done and approved any day now. There are so many steps in this long journey, that's for sure.

 I sent in the second instalment plus a few extras. Then I have to send another payment to cover the China portion like the translation and their processing before they will send it off.

Is the DTC (Dossier to China) actually somewhere on the horizon? I sure hope so.

Ladybug's in the House

I have to mention that my son found a ladybug on the side of the fridge. I couldn't believe it when he said it but then he showed it to me. We did place the ladybug outside but I chose to believe the tradition that a ladybug is good luck in adoption.  So, yes, I'm happy about it. On another note little Rose has a family and it's not mine. Of course sad and happy about it. It happened when I just sent another email, a more serious one to my agency about checking for her file and asking what we'd have to do to apply for this child, seeing that the orphanage director is so reluctant to let the child be adopted and then next day I saw it on an advocating site that the child had a committed family. I contacted the agency to make sure and let them know that if this adoption does not go through to throw me a message if they can remember. So we shall see how the good Lord rules on this one. In the meantime when I spoke to a rep at my agency she kept saying, but the child doesn't move and she told me that little Rose has CP but what does that mean? Does it mean that she is not worth the effort? Is she not worth of a family? Certainly, I was not happy with that.

I also asked about a little girl on the shared list whose SN is partly wall eye, which I looked up and which basically means crossed eyes. The agency knew the child and said she cannot see. At this point I can ask about another child but it won't mean anything because we are still waiting on approval from our government and can't do anything about it. It's been over a month so I'm hoping we'll hear something soon.

Good night little Rose, may you have sweet dreams of your new family.

The Call

Just waiting on the Ministry for their OK to adopt and then waiting again to see what happens next. I'm sure the dossier has to be translated and all that. In the meantime little Rose waits in her crib, day in and day out staring at her little hands. She is a child who should be up and around, walking, running and having fun but she's not, she's an orphan half way around the world who is waiting for her mom and dad. Her voice is so tiny but I hope someone hears it. I heard it, her call, loud and clear but time will tell if we can answer that call.

Lingering Hope

Dossier, mostly complete was sent to the agency today to arrive tomorrow. At this point this really means nothing until we receive the approval from the Ministry but should we get it we're a step ahead. Basically the only thing that's left to write out is the Letter of Intent which seems a little intimidating to me. The agency did give me pointers so it's a matter of starting it but not sure how much I can complete it when I have to talk about the child's special need and as you know there is no child yet. So, I will write a general letter just to get something down on paper and have a starting point. I thought the Dossier would be a lot harder to compile than it was. It was easy actually, just follow steps and collect documents from one to the next and the next.

I was looking at an updated photo of little Rosie, of course, she has a different name now with her new agency but her update still does not say her true SN. Mostly hydrocephalus alone does not cause the child to be immobile all she does is lay on her back, she cannot roll over, sit or crawl. Though my heart breaks for her at our age I'm not sure if we can handle a child with life long care. I mean, I have to be realistic. What happens to her once we're gone?

There is always that small chance that with treatment she may improve and start to move and crawl and walk one day but right now she's had no treatment and the damage may be done for good. I want to believe so bad that with tender loving care and medical intervention she will become mobile but what if she doesn't. What also makes me believe that she can get better is because she looks malnourished.  Almost three years old and only nineteen pounds with tiny measurements. The last photos I saw of her showed a glint of hope still linger in her eyes that there might be a better tomorrow for her, that her parents are out there somewhere and they are coming but this updated photo only shows a hardened belief that no one is coming. I pray and hope to receive a sign that tells me if to wait for the agency to match us with a child they feel is right for us or do I fight for this one.

 Wow, I was sitting here wondering why I would chose this picture and doesn't the cloud on bottom right look a lot like the shape of China??!!

From Dossier to a Miracle

When they say adoption is a paper pregnancy they are not kidding. After you've done the home study for which you sign and gather many documents then comes the Dossier which is nothing more than more documents. By now many of the documents we could've used, like the police checks are outdated and we have to get new ones. On Saturday we got our police checks again but I'm hoping we don't have to re-do the fingerprints. I'll see what the agency says. We also got our passport photos taken. Before that I did some certified documents and more photocopies, printed photos, digital photos. Really, I think I have most of it done, just waiting on two more reference letters, one employment letter and a couple of other things. So, it's paperwork, paperwork and more paperwork, waiting on this, waiting on that. Again it makes me wonder if we'll ever get to the point of where we might see a child's file or have a referral. It all still seems so far away and it's super hard to keep working at all this without a child in mind, without their picture, without knowing if there ever will be a child. Little Rosie had resurfaced somehow and my agency called her orphanage but she is not better. She is a bedridden child we just don't know why. It could be her untreated hydrocephalus, or she might have CP, or if she didn't meet her milestones on time she may have been neglected, at this point we just don't know, the only thing we know is that she can't do much. If anything with her changes it would be a miracle so let's hope for a miracle.